MY CHRISTMAS STORY
Long time ago Chinedu wanted to marry Aisha. At an appointed time, he was accompanied by his family members to Aisha’s family headed by her father named mallam Musa. As part of the marriage rites, exchange of ‘Goro’ or kolanuts and the traditional flogging of the groom were achieved. Aisha officially became his wife.
When he got home and night came, he was shocked to discover that Aisha was pregnant for an Alhaji.
Base on say Chinedu no too like wahala
And he no wan tell im ummuna wetin don shele,
e come decide make e discharge Aisha codely
upon sey wetin happen pain am reach liver.
As im dey reason the matter, na so one Warri Angel wey im name na Onome just show face.
Chinedu! Chinedu!! Chinedu!!!.
Chinedu come dey wonder who dey hail im name for this night wey NEPA sef no gree bring light and mosquitoes sef dey jolly and flenjo. Na so Chinedu use vesper shout; My village people don start again ooo. But the Angel wey hail e name na Onome. Onome tell am say no be im village people – “Na me Angel Onome dey call you. Big bros for heaven say make I tell you sey the matter you dey reason make you comot am for your brain because, Aisha belle no be Alhaji own. Her Belle na holy ghost get am. So, no fear Aisha na correct babe.
And her papa and mama train am well well.
No pursue am.
I know say you be confam guy
No fall my hand
Oya collect this heavenly sense
to show you the way.”
After Onome don talk finish,
na so e take vanish.
No be Nollywood type of vanish oo.
With the heavenly sense Chinedu don collect, Chinedu kukuma arrange himself take Aisha as im wife.
After like eight (8) months don pass
Na so oga presido come say
make everybody find im way to im papa house. The reason na because,
e wan know the number of people wey dey the country. Dis na for am to fit use am take plan budget.
Gently, gently na so Chinedu
Come take carry e legedis benz still carry Aisha join
go im papa house for inside calabar.
The trekking no be here, but base on say Chinedu na correct Ajekpako
and Aisha no be lazy girl, dem jejeli waka the journey.
Before den enter Calabar, Chinedu bin dey hear tori
sey, dem don book all the hotel for inside Calabar base on sey carnival go soon start.
The news no sweet Chinedu for belle at all because e don plan sey na five star hotel for book for im and im iyawo.
But now wen wrapper don tie gele for waist
Chinedu gats to strategize sharpali.
Na so e take phone hala Okon.
But Okon phone no come dey reachable.
E come hala Effiong.
But im phone dey ring but he no pick. E come still hala Bassey. But that one dey show wrong number. Like play, like play Chinedu no come get place to stay with im iyawo wen be like sey she go soon enter labour. Na so Chinedu come dey dis-organize oo. But base on who e be, e gats find way. Like dem dey talk am ”any way na way”. Na so e take enter difren street dey find place. Im no mind sey time don knack 10:30pm. And bad guys fit dey road to collect the collectables Na so e beg from door to door sotey e voice come crack. Upon all im abeg, people no gree mercy for am. By did time, e come dey reason wetin e go do. Na so one poor farmer wey e name na shokwelo come meet am, tell am say e don tey im dey observe am – say wetin be the problem. Na im Chinedu come tell am waz up. The poor farmer come pity the guy vome tell am sey he fit come join am stay for im farm. As dem dey talk, na im Chinedu phone ring. Wen e check am, e come see say na Aisha dey call am. E answer, ‘hello sweetim’. But Aisha don dey cry seriously
because she don already enter labour.
Sharpali, e come borrow the farmer Okada go take carry Aisha come the new place.
Na so the farmer wife come quickly sweep one corner, arrange one side for Aisha to born.
For the farm, plenty goat and plenty local fowl full am.
Na for that side Aisha take born her baby boy for 12am on the 25th of December.
Immediately she born, na so wonders come begin dey shele. Some Aboki wey dey on their own with their nama for bush, dem dey wear their thick raincoat and their normal rubber booth. Dem dey sleep around the fire wey dem make. Dem dey take better fura-dey-nunu take dey enjoy themselves.
Na so Angels wey come from different states come appear before them. Dem dey sing jolly songs for their ears.
The sky come dey bright pass day dem don sing finish,
dem come tell the Aboki dem sey
dem don born new king for inside one farm for calabar. Sey, na the king go end terrorism, ritual killings, corruption, bad government and all the nyama, nyama, kata, kata problems wen the country dey face now. Sey, during im time, this country go experience correct peace and all the good things God don package for this country.
Na so the Aboki dem belle sweet dem wen dem hear this talk.
Na so dem take rush enter calabar to
come see the baby wey go become the king of Kings and lord of lords.
When they take their two eyes see everything they come dey throway baba God Salut.
Many people from Jos, Enugu, Kano, Kogi, Edo, Port Harcourt, Abia, Ondo, Lagos, Benue, Nassarawa, Ekiti, Delta, Ebonyi, Sokoto, Taraba, Kaduna, e.t.c, all the State for the country come see this new king.
Even sef three great old men wey dey wise well well come see this new king wey dey born,
Bringing ogbonge gifts for the new born baby boy.
Na so joy boku for everywhere
Base on say the Savior wey, BBC, CNN, NTA, Channels, AIT and even Wazobia fm dey announce since Don show…
© Joseph Paul Omoh